Here is what I feel today, expressed in automatic writing.
Craving intimacy. Being seen.
Deeply seen, felt, touched.
Soul level connection.
Enough of superficial interaction.
I long to connect deeply.
Connect deeply with people around me.
Connect deeply with the country's culture.
Connect deeply with what I am.
Being deeply there, Deeply here!
Enough of having just a sensation of it.
I want to be immersed in it.
I want to feel it fully, completely.
Open to be traversed. Surrendered.
Surrender!
I can see how I am tired of shallow connections. Meeting new people and have the same shallow conversation. Fearing deepness? Fearing attachment because we know we will soon go each on our own way?
I’m tired to be a superficial tourist. Exploring only the surface. How can I stop snorkeling and learn to dive?
I fear that if I dig I may explode on an UXO*?
Am I ready to take the risk? The risk to find or to expose something ugly? Something that I feel is dangerous? Something that my ego think should stay buried?
What if I practice to grow Love to integrate, to encompass all of that! What if I grow the courage to surrender fully? It’s what is needed to experience Intimacy?
Then I say yes! This year, for my birthday, I offer myself Intimacy!
*UXO : Unexploded ordnances, I visited the UXO Lao Visitor Center a couples of day ago. I will publish about this soon.
