Some texts written during and after my 10-days silent meditation retreat with Mahasiddha Yoga. So powerful! I hope these humble his words will help you get the vibe and insight I touched! I also have written my poems in French at the beginning of the retreat, when I had not yet let of the desire (of my ego) of writing perfectly.
Aliveness – 9th day of the retreat
Longing for aliveness and freedom.
Fear of that spontaneity of the now.
Sweet and sour mix. Constant tension.
Consciousness embracing lovingly.
Until what is shy, feeling ugly,
Comes into its right place, transcended.
Longing for aliveness and freedom,
Tingling butterflies of excitement.
So many possibilities, no place for boredom!
Walking, running, dancing grounded,
Grounded in pure consciousness, aligned.
Balance of energy and consciousness.
Shiva and Shakti dancing in my life.
What would it looks like?
Infinite potentialities.
Vastness of the now.
What do I want? What do my soul want?
What am I longing for?
Longing for aliveness and freedom.
Staying here longer or not?
Seeing my mind starting pro/con lists,
Feeling excitement of this freedom.
Joy of prolonging the mystery.
Multiple potentials of jumping in the unknown.
Muscling faith and trust in the universe.
Making a choice.
Narrowing the possibilities.
Sacrificing a realm of potentials,
Being joyful to do so.
Coming back to now.
Coming back to life.
Leaving the illusion.
Leaving the box, the shell.
Opening up. More and more.
Hearing the shell cracking,
Like and egg cracking to let the chick live
Like a crab tearing his old skin ,
Fresh and vulnerable, exposed to life,
And yet so free and alive.
Love. Communing with love.
Feeling the vibration of love in my body.
More and more cells vibrating in unisson,
Like a wave of warmth and care.
Opening to love. Opening to feel.
Discomforts of the shell cracking.
Am I ready to feel that much?
Am I ready to vibrate that much?
Infusing discomforts with loving consciousness,
Dissolving them, melting ice in water
Alchemizing power of loving consciousness,
Feeling fully loved and loving, soon or later
Coming home. Now. In silence. Loved.
Centred in the heart. Centred in the Now.
Bliss of the peace of inner silence.
Remember to come back home to love!
Staying or not?
Stay, until it is time to go!
Do not succumb the temptation.
Of creating a new box and avoiding mystery.
Joy of being alive, feeling alive.
Can I experience that outside of here?
Already moments and glimpses,
Longing for more! Prolonged aliveness.
Pure consciousness – 3 days after the end of the retreat
I am pure consciousness.
As God can create the universe,
I can create my own reality.
Closer and closer to Godly attributes.
I am pure consciousness.
Infusing and embodying
Physical and pranic bodies,
Experiencing life through mater and energies.
I am pure consciousness.
Witness of the thoughts and emotions.
I can choose to detach and transcend
The mental body, the linear mind.
I am pure consciousness.
I can experience life here and now.
From the soul's perspective,
Witnessing intuition and direct knowledge.
I am pure consciousness.
Beyond the supra-mental and blissful bodies,
Beyond the soul's perspective,
Beyond all these layers.
I am pure consciousness.
Eternal, before and after,
Birth and dying of the matter.
Stillness, in constant transformation.
And whatever the expansion of consciousness,
I can choose to connect with elevated attributes.
Godly attributes of Love, Courage, Will, Aspirations.
I can vibrate them right now in my bodies.
I am pure consciousness!
But what is consciousness?
What is pure consciousness?
What. is. pure. consciousness?
Who am I? – 3 days after the end of the retreat
So powerful and freeing to dive.
Dive deeper and deeper.
At the heart of my true nature.
Deeply rooted with something higher.
Expanding my consciousness more and more.
Transcending my "normal" way of being.
Being beyond the body, mind and soul.
Silent. Completely silent, still, whole!
Blissful state to unfold my true nature.
Integrating rather than denying or rejecting.
Growing, refining, more and more who I am.
